Xi’an, China

A day spent among the terracotta warriors and hairy Chinese bits..
We headed off early for the terracotta warriors (stopping off at the bank of china on the way) we found ourselves a guide and were led into the first pit. It was amazing, totally awe struck by the warriors and of course in particular the horses. They really weren’t a disappointment at all. Being off season the crowds were small but all Chinese, so a lot of pushing, shoving and disrespect.
I was forced to face my fear here, and had to wee in a stench long drop hell hole.
The farmer who dug the well and discovered the terracotta warriors was visiting the site that day and we got him to sign the book about the museum and the history. After the awesome warriors we headed off to the hot springs near by and paid y80 each entrance which we thought was entrance to the springs, but not so, it was entry into the entry to the spring which was another y360 each. So we all walked out, to the sound of chinese women giggling at us. By this time I was so fed up of the chinese that when I was asked for yet another f’ing photo I flat out refused, repeatedly, as he would not accept my refusal.
That lunchtime we ate in the restaurant again, big mistake as they clearly hated us. As sausage described it they have a “Closed attitude with an open door” perfect description.
After lunch we decided as we hadn’t experienced the Chinese hot springs and we were staying in the hot spring hotel, see would try the hotel’s spa. We all of us headed down to the spa with our swim costumes. Brett and Gabriel went into the men’s side, Sausage and I headed off to the ladies’ side, we were taken into the changing rooms and forced to remove our shoes and handed a filthy pair of plastic shoes that had evidently been well used, and were way too small for our feet. Then we were led through to the locker rooms passing a seething mass of naked chinese women with everything hanging out, acres of hair hanging loose, I could feel the horror emanating from sausage on my right I didn’t even need to look at her. I was shown to a locker and we exchanged glances as the woman informed sausage that her locker was in another room, she had a look of fear on her face but surprisingly she followed, I think it was shock.. Less than two minutes later, I had only got as far as unlocking my locker, she reappeared, I knew before she said a word that she wasn’t going through with it, when I did catch her eye she looked like a rabbit caught in the middle of the headlights of an oncoming robin reliant. I suggested we see the hot spa and decide from there, so we wandered through the changing rooms searching for the entrance to the pools, and came across the shower rooms: full of short, fat hairy chinese women, and the changing rooms, where naked women were scratching each other’s backs and hair drying each other’s bits, there was no spa and no pool, that we could see.
We couldn’t hide our horror and tried to make a hasty exit. The door attendants wouldn’t give us our shoes back, they didn’t understand why the English women wanted to leave without getting naked and wet too, so tried to stop us from leaving, it took much confusion with terrified looks on our faces, repeated shaking of our heads and hands and many staff getting involved creating a big scene before they relinquished our shoes and let us leave. After a long time Brett and Gabriel emerged, the men’s was no better apparently, but at least they found the hot springs. There were more naked women in that place than in any lap dancing club in the world, and I have definitely seen all I want to see of china…


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